An Open Letter To His Two Firsts

 First number one: 

    Why would I want to be the first one to break his heart? The first one he trusted and the first one he doubted. Why would I want to be the first one who made him feel like he is worthless, like he is not enough. The first one who made him cry a river, and the first one to made him question his confidence, his sanity.

No, I would never want to be like you. 

For his first number two: 

You were worse, and I will never want to be like you. After years of doubting the world, this was the first time that he trusted someone again, you knew what he went through, yet repeated everything. You treated him as if he's worthless, you never made him feel enough. You made him cry an ocean and drowned him in his own tears. You made him question everything he thought he already found answers to. 

No, I would never want to be like you, Two. 

But, I am also his first. 

    The first one who will pick him up from doubting the world, the first one who will prove him he can trust someone again. The first one to finally make him feel there's nothing to be shy about, nothing to be scared of, no one to be threatened to. I will save him from drowning in his own tears, and will be with him as he walk out from the darkest shadows of the past. I will be the first one to answer all the questions he thought he'd never find the answers to. 

So, no matter how much you try, you will never be like me.